


Kyle's Boomin' Invasion

by KPesh123



Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Politics, American Politics, Bad Writing, Best Friends, Binge Drinking, Childhood Friends, College, Drinking, Drugs, Excessive Drinking, Friendship, Fucking, Good Writing, Guns, Heavy Drinking, Invasion, Korean War, Late Night Writing, Other, Party, Partying, Politics, Porn, References to Drugs, Shooting Guns, Smoking, Travel, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, War, World Travel, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25880155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KPesh123/pseuds/KPesh123
Summary: Kim Jon Un has died.  Kyle and The Boys seize the opportunity to take over the country.  All goes well until they meet someone who will do almost anything to stop them from taking over...
Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867981





	Kyle's Boomin' Invasion

**Author's Note:**

> Please read my the other stories of Kyle's Boomin" Adventures.

Kyle’s Boomin Invasion

(Disclaimer: Typos done on purpose for accents.)

Kim Jon Un died. Or at least that was what the speculation was in the United States. For years the boys heard stories of how a fat Asian man starved and murdered his people only to become Donald Trump’s bitch at the Singapore Summit in 2018. News broke in the end of April, with Coronavirus defeated by the boys, the only news around the world at the moment was Kim Jon Un’s death. Whether it be true or not the media had no clue. 

Kyle and the boys were at Malcolm’s house having a daytime drinking session. Summer started and the boys just got back from Canada. The fireplace was lit and beers were flowing. They were celebrating Kyle’s return home as well as the start of summer. Jon was in the game room on his computer. The fire was built with a tower of cardboard that was seven feet high. Being drunken idiots, Kyle and Malcolm decided to pick up random objects and fling them into the fire. Kyle was reminiscing about the time they built a fire that large and it came crashing down almost burning down the house. Once the scare was gone a sea of 9/11 jokes were made. Kyle and Malcolm were trying to relive those memories. While throwing shit into the fire, Jon ran out. 

“Holy fuck guess what!!” Jon shouted.

“What the fuck do you want Jon can’t you see we’re being productive?” Kyle responded.

“Fuck off asswipe, it’s official! Kim Jon Un is dead!” 

“What?!” Malcolm yelled.

“Yes it’s true! Apparently he died during surgery, the body doubles were such fat asses that they ate each other.” Jon explained. “Look here’s a picture in the article.”

Jon showed a picture of the body doubles for Kim Jon Un. There were five fat asian men standing in the picture. While looking across the picture Kyle noticed the sixth body double was different. Somehow the body double looked familiar.” 

“Is that? Balti!?” Kyle asked.

The picture showed a fat man with curly hair and a dumb smile. While every other double looked serious, Balti looked as if he was only there for the free food. The boys looked in shock. 

“It says they don’t know who’s going to replace Kim.” Jon said. 

“The country might go under.” Mark replied. 

“There are talks of Kim’s sister taking over.” Jon said.

“Jesus fuck, have you seen a picture of that bitch? If she becomes leader we are most definitely going to war.” Nick commented.

“What makes you say that?” Gianni asked.

“Jesus Christ Gianni! Haven’t you seen this cunt?! She has a huge resting bitch face!!!” Malcolm yelled. 

“He’s not wrong.” Kyle commented. 

“Yo, we should try and take North Korea before she does.” Jay said. 

“Bet, maybe now I can finally get some kills.” Mark commented. 

With that the boys planned an invasion of North Korea. The next day they planned a flight to China which would switch to Pyongyang North Korea. It was around this time a black man was shot by two white men in Georgia. The student population at Kyle’s school went into a rage and posted that they were mad on Instagram in order to not seem racist. Kyle found it funny because they act as if they are upset to not look racist but immediately assume he has aids due to his heritage. The boys took a brief trip down to Georgia to prove a point. 

Once they got to Georgia they found the two guys sixty nining themselves. Jay took out a shotgun and fired on both of them. The two both ejaculated once getting hit in the brain with a bullet. Kyle posted this to the group chat to show that rage posting won’t end racism, but actions would. After killing two racists the boys went to the Atlanta airport. While sitting in the waiting area for two extra hours due to delays, one of Kyle’s peers at his school saw them and immediately walked over. 

“Hey Kyle what’s good. Yo can I borrow fifty bucks? I need more money to hit da boof.” Kyle’s peer asked.

“Hold up, what did you just call it?” Mark asked.

“Da boof. Me and my friends are so cool getting zoinked off junko.” 

Mark open hand slapped Kyle’s peer with the might of a thousand armies causing the peer to fall. Crying like a little bitch, Jay kicked the peer in the balls, thus knocking him unconscious.

“Fucking pussy.” Mark commented. 

The boys eventually boarded the plane. Kyle, Malcolm, and Jon were in one section. Mark, Gianni, and Jay were in the second section. Nick was all alone stuck in between two sweaty fat men who could barely fit in their seats. Eventually the plane took off and there was a good amount of turbulence. The movie selection was not great. The only comedies were romantic ones starring B-list actors. Kyle put on his headphones and listened to Avenged Sevenfold. Next to him however, Malcolm was having the time of his life. Using Jon’s tablet, Malcolm was on pornhub watching a celebrity sex tape of John Goodman getting a blumpkin. Jon threw up in the paper bag provided. 

The boys ordered drinks on the plane. Once they were shitfaced, Malcolm saw a flight attendant he took a liking for. She was two hundred pounds and could barely fit in her uniform. Malcolm made his move.

“Hey sweet cheeks wanna join the mile high club? I’d let you sit on my face.” Malcolm told the attendant. 

“Fuck off you scrawny looking shit.” The attendant responded, punching Malcolm in the face. 

“Don’t worry buddy, Gretch is always ready to give you round three!.” Jon shouted for the entire plane to hear. Malcolm sat down and went to sleep. 

The boys landed in Shanghai. When they approached the gate for the flight to Pyongyang, the agent denied them access to the flight. 

“Sorry you boys can’t board the plane, you’re American.” The agent said.

“Ma’am if I show you my penis, will you let us on?” Malcolm asked. The boys looked at him in shock. 

The agent quickly maced Malcolm and ran away in fear for her life. With no one at the gate, they got on. The boys repeated the same process as the last fight and got shitfaced the entire time. Nick threw up due to his intoxication. They landed in North Korea hungover. The boys walked off the flight and into the streets of Pyongyang without any altercation. After taking one look around, the boys knew North Korea was going under. The city streets were empty as if the government had failed them. The boys took pictures at all the famous sites seen on the media. Once they stopped fucking around in the capitol city, the boys started to look for Kim Jon Un’s residence. With guns in their hands they searched every block, eventually finding a giant sign at the edge of town. 

“This way to Kim Jon Un’s residence.” The sign read. 

“Wow how convenient.” Kyle commented. The boys followed the sign.

The road led to a giant compound with many soldiers and top North Korean officials. They were rushing in a mad panic trying to fix the failing country. The scene was similar to Spongebob’s brain when he forgot his name. The boys walked through the door which shut hard behind them. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and looked at them. 

“Uh yea so like, this is ours now.” Kyle said casually. 

“What?!” One of the top officials asked.

“Yea we're taking this bitch for ourselves.” Mark replied.

“Oh thank god! If you came later the Supreme Cunt would’ve come into power!”

“Wait, you want us to take over?” Malcolm asked.

“You have no idea!!! You know how bat shit crazy Kim was? Well his sister is a part of the same family and a woman! Every time of the month she’d be nuking countries left and right!” The official explained. 

“Okay bet, we now rule North Korea.” Jay said. 

“Not yet, you have to deal with her and the officials that back her. It’s about to be a civil war.” The official said. 

“Well we’re here to help.” Gianni responded. 

“Great, let me show you around.” The official said. 

The officials gave the boys a tour of Kim Jon Un’s palace. There they were served high end alcohol and freshly grown weed. The boys played on Kim’s personal basketball court and were given signed Dennis Rodman jerseys as souvenirs. The boys were able to drive Kim’s tank and blow various things into the stratosphere. The boys saw a room with the half eaten body doubles. All of them were dead except for one. Balti was sitting in the middle of the room with a chicken wing in his hand. He looked up and said hello to the boys, then continued eating. Eventually the boys made it to the highlight of the tour, Kim Jon Un’s dead corpse. Kim Jon Un was on a conveyor belt and was completely naked. He looked like an asian version of Peter Griffin. The boys saw Kim’s penis as well. 

“Damn Trump really did have the bigger button didn’t he.” Kyle commented. 

The boys didn’t see a cock so small since they walked in on Hitler getting shit on by Eva Braun back in their time travel adventure. They realized that dictators were usually such assholes due to the fact that they had small penises. In order to make up for being sexually challenged, they had to have the ego of an overconfident fuck boy. It was at this moment when the Supreme Cunt walked in.

“Wha?! Who da fuck are you?! Why you here!” The Supreme Cunt yelled. 

“Hey what’s good? We are just here to take North Korea.” Kyle responded. 

“Oh fuck no! No one take my Korea! I inherited it.” The Supreme Cunt yelled. 

“We know you’re gonna try to bomb us if you take over so we have to do this.” Jon said. 

“Fuck you Americans! Why you so firthy and uneducated!” 

“Ight I guess this is war.” Mark commented.

“Fuck you!” The Supreme Cunt yelled.

The two groups walked separate ways. The boys were given access to the palace and all its amenities while the Supreme Cunt was shunned outside the palace. She started a military school to train an army and attack the palace. The boys used the various war rooms to plan their attacks. One morning Mark, Kyle, and Jay were driving one of Kim’s sports cars through the city when they saw the Supreme Cunt’s school. They got out to take a look. 

“Damn we gotta fight an entire army.” Mark said. 

“Fuck, this shit is going to be hard.” Jay commented.

“Hey you know how you guys wanted more kills in these adventures? Take these AK’s and show them how Americans go to school.” Kyle responded. 

“Oh bet!” Mark shouted excitedly. 

Jay and Mark took AK-47’s and immediately shot up the Supreme Cunt’s new military school which was surprisingly unarmed. With smiles on their faces, all the students who were planning on invading the palace were dead. The Supreme Cunt looked in horror. Mark shot her in the stomach and she fell. Assuming she died, the three went back to the palace. 

The boys started to celebrate again. Mark and Jay shot up a military school paralyzing the army that the Supreme Cunt started to build. The boys did what they knew best, binge drinking. While slamming tequila with hookers North Korean hookers in a hot tub, one of the officials ran into the room. 

“Supreme Leaders! The cunt is back! She has two bazooka’s with her!” 

The boys got an army ready and were ready to fight. First there was a standoff between the boys and the Supreme Cunt. A minute went by until the Supreme Cunt started to talk.

“You give me my parace!” The Supreme Cunt shouted.

“Fuck you!” Malcolm shouted. 

“Fuck you Americans!” The Supreme Cunt yelled about to pull the triggers on both bazookas. 

Right as she was about to shoot the boys, Balti ran out of nowhere and rammed directly into her. She fell and the bazookas fired off into the distant fields. The boys opened fire and mauled the Supreme Cunt. Balti got another bucket of fried chicken and watched the battle take place. After every single member of the group shot the Supreme Cunt, they went inside and continued the party. After partying, they set up a new government system with the officials. North Korea became the first country to be under a non-dictator regime. The people did what they wanted when they wanted. The economy started to prosper due to the newly found capitalism. As long as the people were free, the boys continued to party in the palace. While they were taking vodka shots, the phone rang. Kyle picked it up. 

“The fuck you want?” Kyle asked.

“Hello, this is Donald Trump, what’s the situation over there?” 

“Holy shit!” Kyle said in shock that he was on the phone with President Trump. 

“What’s the status?” Trump asked.

“Yea we good man. Dude we fucked up Kim’s sister.” 

“Probably her time of the month again. Whatever you do, don't grab her in the pussy, that shit is probably yuuuge!” 

“Dude she was such a bitch.” 

“Probably worse than Rosie O’Donnell. Anyway you boys enjoy running North Korea, I got Stormy Daniels tied down on my bed, I’m gonna make her sex life great again.” 

Trump hung up the phone. Kyle was still in shock he just had a conversation with him. The boys now had the United States as an ally. With that they continued to run North Korea. The boys made North Korea boomin’. 

  
  


I hope you enjoyed my Boomin Invasion, fuck North Korea.

  
  



End file.
